nargis's blog

EFFORTS

nargis — Sat, 31 Dec 2011 05:35:01 +0000

For all my life I am always confused on deciding whether or not and how much efforts I should put in a particular task. When I try too hard, all my efforts fail and when I let go, I get what I want but not on that time when I wanted it the most. All those famous sayings that one should make the best of their efforts clash here. And then all my concepts change and I start thinking that efforts never matter, when you are to get something it will come to you itself and you do not have to chase it. But still I always wonder do my efforts really not matter. If I won’t make any efforts, will I still get the same that I would have got with effort- if patience is the solution so are we required to do nothing at all for our entire lives. Go for it once and if you don’t succeed, sit back and wait for the time when it will come to you yourself.

If efforts will not change anything and we just bother ourselves by trying then I see a big problem in myself- I never give up.

AN OBSERVATION

nargis — Thu, 07 Jan 2010 12:52:21 +0000

There is a genre of people who have never experienced a feeling called r-e-m-o-r-s-e. I fail to understand the reason behind this but I’m sure they lack certain mental abilities. I feel whoever can think tends to regret some where, sometime and somehow in life. Those who don’t are either completely devoid of emotions and feelings or think they are too perfect. Human being is not perfect and that’s why he makes mistakes and when one does, he/she surely would ponder and the word “if” would come to their minds and that’s when regret comes in. Then how can someone never r-e-g-r-e-t?

Definitely whatever happens, that is what was supposed to happen but our participation is certainly involved into it and we are responsible for it. So one can not get away with this absurd excuse.

May be nothing is more important to this special type of people. They think that the time they have in this world is only to enjoy so why waste a single moment in thinking over what has been done, move on. But I tell you what guys, you won’t ever learn anything this way and if you won’t yourself, life will teach you itself. One more thing, you people never reach any where in life. You end up being all alone.

Whether you agree to it or not, whether you would want to or not, you will have to regret one day so its better those who think they fall into this category give up this attitude. This is an eye opener before they lose everything.

A LITTLE ENDEAVOR

nargis — Thu, 31 Dec 2009 10:05:50 +0000

Every one of us at our ends can do a little effort to make somebody’s life better. I’m talking about the less privileged ones around us. We can bring a smile to them just by making a little contribution to their lives. A very important thing to be careful of is that we don’t hurt somebody’s self respect in doing so. I hope I don’t have to mention that how much secretive that should be that no one should know.

And yes, its not always about financial help, often times your kind words can do as much as healing someone’s oldest sorrows or simply it can make someone’s days.

Remember, paying r-e-s-p-e-ct is something that has no alternative. No financial help can make up for it.

We cannot help everyone in pain but yes we can reduce their number by just helping a few or even one. Its like being someone’s angel. Think about it. Look for some people around you.

EMPTINESS!

nargis — Thu, 24 Dec 2009 05:50:22 +0000

I don’t know where I stand. Everything in life is so dull and slow. Having a steady job that keeps me busy till dusk. Things that seemed fun to me are no longer fun. Don’t have any likes and dislikes. Nothing interests me. My favorite foods that I used to die for don’t tempt me at all. So you got the idea? Yes I’m a dead soul now.

I deeply fear the fact that I’m losing days of my life and nothing interesting is happening in it. Emptiness, utter emptiness that’s called. Absence of everything-joy, dreams and hope.

Well, as long as my heart is beating, I can’t be like this for long. I know things and circumstances will change and that would affect me. I might be alive again. But that’s least possible. Who knows except God. But Dear God, I am not asking for any happiness because I know they come and go and take a lot from me in return. I lose more than I gain.

Hmmm… I guess that’s far better than having unpleasant surprises in my life. Its slow, boring and deadening, irksome-but its fine yet. At least I’m safe. A positive approach says that.

CHANGE IS NECESSARY

nargis — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 06:24:09 +0000

What is a change actually-rule of nature or requirement of life? Imposed upon us or necessary for survival?

I think it has something to do with the mortality of things in this world. Nothing is forever in this world and that is why a change is always witnessed in everything.

Things change and so do people at different stages of their lives. Whatever one learns and experiences that changes their nature, behavior and perceptions. Sometimes some experiences not just demand a change in you but also help you mould your life and correct your directions because those who never learn-never change and vice versa.

HOW DO I REPAY?

nargis — Sat, 05 Dec 2009 10:42:51 +0000

You had an answer to all my questions when I was in the process of knowing this world. Holding my hand you taught me to move forward through all walks of life. There was only one solution to all my worries, wishes, demands and questions, that’s you.There is not a single wish that you didn’t fulfill. You have been like a Genie for me.

You always wiped my tears and made sure they never come out again. How sweetly you drew a smile on my face. Your kind and gentle kiss on my forehead to boost my spirits and give me confidence was and is the best representation of your love. How much I will miss those kisses. You made my childhood like fairytale. I being a pampered Princess of this tale.

Now I ask you papa, how do I repay you for all that you have done for me. Although you have taught me and made me independent to solve all the queries of my life but I’m still unable to find a correct answer to this question. If I serve you for the rest of my life sitting next to your feet, then too it can’t equalize what you have given me. My life will fall short in repaying you because I’m so much indebted to you.

I wish I could live my life all over again and this time with just one goal-repaying you.

I know it sounds clichéd when everyone says their Dad is the best. But sorry people! I claim more than you do that my Papa is deeeeeee b-e-s-t-e-s-t. You are the best human being I have seen in my life and I am so lucky and grateful to God that you are my father.

And without any doubt I love my papa the most in this world. No one in this world can love me as much as he does. Love you Papa!

May I get more opportunities to make you a proud father.

May you have a long, happy and healthy life with us.

Thank you for everything.

DEAR GOD

nargis — Wed, 02 Dec 2009 11:01:50 +0000

I ask You for peace and I ask You for Your mercy,

I know I am not worth it but I know You will forgive me.

Give me peace and give me knowledge that helps me,

So that I can understand what You best decide for me.

I know not what is right for me and what’s wrong,

Despite that I trust You God for everything that You bring me.

I am happy to know that I am amongst them whom You show the path,

So whenever I’m not learning from my mistakes, You slightly punish me.

Take me into Your fold and don’t let me deviate,

Make me a better human being, guide me and spiritually levitate me.

Please grant me my wishes when I need them the most,

I can wait for the right time that You choose for me.

Don’t send people into my life that I won’t like to meet,

Who hurt me and give me excruciating memories instead of something that’s sweet.

For I am fine with the solitude no matter how long,

I know it’s much better as You are always with me.

Everyone in this world might leave me alone,

But I know its only You who would never leave me.

TO MY LOVELY SISTERS

nargis — Thu, 26 Nov 2009 11:28:08 +0000

I don’t know how good sister-eldest sister rather I have been, but I just want to tell all of you that may be I could never express how much I love you and how much I think for all of you but know this that your sis loves you and cares for you more than you can think. I always want the best of everything for you in your lives and I wish to fulfill your all wishes. In fact I want you to have all that in life that I couldn’t or I wished for. You are my world and thanks for making it so beautiful for me.

No matter where ever I live, I will always be there for you.

All four of us are always together and connected through our hearts.

Hey why am I talking as if my life is going to be over- there is still so much I can do girls. We will have loads of fun together and be each other’s strength.

Yo girls! Lets rock!

Love you sweeties..muaah!

FINALLY

nargis — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 11:24:35 +0000

When I was in school, I feared every exam because I wanted to top every test of school and every test of my life.

My biggest fear: What if I don’t top the exams, where would I hide my face. Lol!

Whenever I used to be upset of the fact that school life is such a hard work and we toil all day long at school first and then doing loads of homework, I used to get this advice from my elders that I should enjoy this life to the fullest since this is the most carefree life one has among all the phases of life. I always had the very same answer to them that if they had to do this much homework only then they could know how miserable my life is and what hardship is this.

I just can’t believe I took all that so seriously and wasted my golden days in so much stress. I was just crazy about my grades. Not only that, my goal used to be all time favorite of all my teachers. Can you believe that! What an obsession I had. Such a nerd I was- more than that even.

So I completed my schooling with that perception that school and studies is everything and I have to be the best at it. No matter how much hard work I have to, I am in this world for this purpose.

When my schooling was over and I realized I could have so much fun there. Alas! I missed it. I wish I would have studied a little less and enjoyed a little more. No one asks for my school grades now and I don’t even care about it now, what I remember is the time that could potentially be memorable. No one cares about your achievements, it is your life and these are your memories.

Everyone at school used to be so innocent and transparent hearted. We knew all about each other and after all the silly fights we used to have everyday-ten times in a day rather, we used to be friends all over again and the very same for each other. Oh my childhood!

Then came the college life. Every girl wanted to be popular for her style and fashion. As you know I regretted studying too much in my school life, I worked on this bad habit of mine and enjoyed my life with my gang in college. My college was superb!

The result was an A-grade when others got A+.

Lesson learned: Study study study!

Next: For my all four years of university, not only I studied hard but also I learned a lot. Every year I used to be some-what a new person. Frankly speaking on my very first day at university, I really thought this place was not for me and how would I spend my f-o-u-r years here. I remember I was telling Furhan-my first friend at university that I don’t understand why am I here. But once you get into something, you learn and improvise. But still I could not wait for my studies to be over because the thought of being a salaried person used to be so fascinating.

I have graduated now and it’s been about six months since I’m on a job and I have enough idea on how this working life is like so what do you expect from me? Yeah it’s the same feeling again that how I spent those beautiful carefree days merely in books. How! I wish to go to university again and study again.

So you see I just regret after that time is gone. But finally I have decided to make the most of the life I have right now. I am not talking about the working life but the life I have at my parent’s home. No responsibility and no worries, just pure love and pampering. I have an idea on what a married life is supposed to be. A girl needs to forget herself and kill her individuality and spend her entire life in pleasing the people who never consider her a part of their lives. For the entire life she needs to justify herself just because she is not their blood relation and they can’t trust her and would never appreciate how gem of a person she is. My feminist thoughts are coming out now I better come to the point.

I am going to have the best time with my family and I don’t care about anyone else. I have a lovely family and that’s a blessing that no matter how immensely I thank God for it, it is still less. I know this is the time when I can serve my parents because I will have to take care of another family later on.

No more regrets over the spilt milk now. I am going to utilize this time to maximum.

ISOLATION

nargis — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 09:23:49 +0000

Of course there is no comparison of things and people no matter how important those things might be in your life but it’s the people who brighten your life! It’s the people who make you survive and it’s the people who make you learn. Let me ask you something-Have you ever thought what is the biggest punishment that you can give to someone while keeping them alive? That’s isolation! Isolation from people. What’s imprisonment? It is very much based on the same idea. They do provide food along with other necessities in a jail and some even allow them some sports, but still what is that they don’t give? It’s the connection with people-being away from their loved ones and from the lively world. Loneliness can change a person completely.

No body wants to be lonely in this world no matter how fond of solitude one may be, but one can never wish that forever. We all need each other and we hate to be alone. It’s a miserable feeling.